Fighting Patriarchy In A Patriarchal Industry- AKA Why I Do This
If you believe in removing gender roles, patriarchy, and capitalism- let me tell you- the wedding business will test ALL your patience, as well as what you believe and hold near and dear to your heart. Things will shift for the better, the worst, and everything in between.
Weddings are built upon the idea that women are to belong to your husband, and the entire event revolves around a father giving away his daughter and her virginity, white dresses as a form of purity, veils representing hymens (yes, you read that right) and a lot of patriarchal bullshit. So why would this be the industry I’m the most passionate about? Well, because it needs to evolve, and it needs dedicated people to help move the evolution along.
We can have a party celebrating the fact that two soulmates are getting legal. We can have a party celebrating a poly relationship, and we can party celebrating your love, whether you’re signing the paper or not. We can do whatever the fuck you want. That’s why I’m here, to change our conversations around weddings, what “counts” as a wedding, and making sure couples know that there really aren’t any “rules.”
Wedding rules have always dictated how the day will go, who will stand where, who will wear what, and who will say whatever. These are not the rules of a wedding. Sure, some of them make some sense, are what we are used to, and no shame in structuring your day traditionally, but I have to let couples know they certainly don’t have to. It’s a blank slate!
I’ve had to reconcile putting myself in a $53 billion industry and finding ways in that industry to fight capitalism. Hard AF. I’ve chosen to be really conscious of where money is going instead of the industry it’s going to. I love celebrating and supporting artists and vendors who need to make a living and are socially conscious or marginalized themselves. When I work with a couple, I have those connections to make the process a little easier.